Why do I feel like such a drain?

(Written January, 2019)

Papa Matt’s credit card expired and he got a new one recently. It’s bringing to the surface just how much my parents pay for me to live “comfortably” and somewhat close to “normal” even though I’m one of those ‘entitled liberals who lives off the Government’s teet’ – yanno, SSI Disability.

I don’t have much of a work history as my 2 known tick bites happened at 17 years old. I worked in a local bakery for 6 months until I ended up passing out in the back of the store after I threw up so much it tore my esophagus.

So when I applied for disability, of course I had to do the SSI kind. And I got it. I don’t think I should be getting 5 figures each month. I’m not that naïve. But what I don’t get is the expectation that we could take a monthly income of $747 and feel like we are (1) providing for ourselves, (2) helping the community and (3) helping the economy.

The holidays have come and gone. I borrowed money to be able to buy things for my nephews and family. We don’t do huge Christmases. I’m so thankful that we keep the reason for the season simple – Yule is love in our family. And a time to teach our younger generation that there is much to do in this world. So many need help, and when we are privileged in so many ways it’s our duty to turn around and help others.

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